Stop the cycle September 15, 2009

No matter what, if you are going to be told something by the Universe or God, just do it. Because it’s going to keep coming up over and over and over again. I did a spread for myself last week, I pulled 3 cards for me last night which 3 of them were in my initial spread and then, tonight, Melia Lore pulled me a card and three flew out

“Casey…

Jeeeeebus.

Brigid: Alchemy (Temperance)
The Star: You will find your way
Ace of Earth: Manifestation

I’m not interpreting those more than that”

And she really doesn’t need too. I need to get my shit together and move on. Begin a new journey. A happy and healthy journey. I start to and then I have setbacks and think that I can’t move ahead and deep down I know I can. I just have to stay positive.

Hippymom Weekly! September 14, 2009

Fall is a time for Beginnings…at least at The Inside Life.

In My Crazy Life is Feeling Better This Week…

This week’s Five Finds in Eco Fashion at Fashion, Evolved are all from Etsy.com!

Luscious Decadence has a Date Tonight!

Spectacular Me is Pretty on the Inside.

There’s a Calming Force coming from the direction of LoCoWomen.

Melia Lore is doing a Mothering and Feminism Survey–fill it out already!

Hippymom.com’s official blog encourages you to Live in the Moment.

Celebrate the Moon Love at Calming Winds…

We interrupt my journey to bring you.. September 14, 2009

IDIOT OF THE YEAR!!!

KANYE WEST (imagine an audience yelling BOOOOO-HISSSSSSS)
http://videoguide.msn.com/play/tv/?g=9073ca7a-d315-4e70-893d-938aa8f18faf

First of all I do not watch the VMA’s anymore. I haven’t watched since ‘99 because honestly music has sucked. There isn’t much originality out there anymore. I did see this clip on a friends facebook last night and can I just tell you how angry this makes me. To know that he’s done this before and he’s going to KEEP on doing this because his “fans” will keep on buying his music and giving into him regardless of how rude and disrespectful he is.

Now I am no fan of Taylor Swift, her music is geared more towards teenagers. However I will applaud her for writing her own music and working hard. I feel sorry that the proudest moment in her LIFE was interrupted by some SCUMBAG who thinks he’s God! Who cares if Beyonce’s video “was the best in the decade”!! She eventually won later which she was nice enough to bring Taylor back onstage to give her speech again. So not only did he ruin Taylor’s speech he ruined the one he initially thought should win. And WHY THE FUCK, excuse my language, was he NOT stopped before he reached podium. I am sure they have just as many bodyguards there as you would see on Jerry Springer. The reason I use that analogy is because I feel that Kanye is nothing BUT the low-life trash that you would see on Jerry.

“I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD’VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE’S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I’M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE’S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I’M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN’ THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I’M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I’M NOT CRAZY YALL, I’M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR AND I’M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!”
http://thesuperficial.com/2009/09/kanye_west_apologizes_to_taylo.php

Kanye if you think that is an apology, then I am a goat. What you sound like here is a twelve year old who’s mother MADE him apologize, even when he’s not really sorry. You are a disgrace to music.

I really am putting this out there so that people know if you keep feeding into his crap or anyone else like him for that matter, they cycle repeats itself. So the more you buy his records thinking “oh it was just a one time thing, it won’t happen again” you are wrong. He should not be respected in anyway. He either is naive and doesn’t think or he does think and knows he can get away with it because his fans are loyal.

Stop the madness people!!

*editors note: I tried to post the links. They won’t work but feel free to copy and paste. Thank you

Good Weekend September 13, 2009

Before I went to therapy Friday evening I told C to call his mom and ask if the girls could spend the night. She said she would love to have them, but would prefer Saturday night! Either way I was thrilled. So we dropped them off yesterday and the three of us (couldn’t get a sitter for Vinnie, but I’m countin’ my blessings here) went to Olive Garden. I had the yummiest chicken alfredo and a lovely glass of Pinot Grigo. So C drove home and an hour later Vinnie went to sleep. So we watched The Last House on the Left and Passengers. I gave myself a pedicure while we watched the movie! So now I have pretty purple toes! Then I went to bed around midnight! Usually I have to kick myself if I go to bed late because the girls LOOOOVE to wake up massively early. BOTH C and I got to sleep in! C slept til 8am and Vinnie and I slept til 8:30am. It was wonderful. Usually we are up at 6 freakin’ 30 am!

The girls came home around 1pm this afternoon. EXHAUSTED! Apparently they didn’t go to sleep til 11pm, the train woke them at 4am and did go back to sleep til 6:15 NO WAY IN HECK that would go over here LOL But they did see my pretty purple toes and wanted their nails painted. So they ate lunch took a good nap and when they woke up we watched Snow Dogs and I gave them their mani’s and pedi’s!! Then we went to see my dad for Grandparent’s Day! They love seeing pap-pap!

Anyway that was our weekend. I feel like if I keep pretty busy I am not always thinking about every little thing and therefore analyzing every little thing. LOL

Feeling better this week. September 10, 2009

I am thinking about transforming my blog. Deleting all the old stuff and making my blog solely about getting to a place where my mind, body and soul is happy and healthy. I don’t want to be negative. I want to be positive and I want to get better. I want to be in a good place. Not constantly feeling all doom and gloom.

So goals to achieve by the end of the month:

1. Stick with my exercising and eating healthy.
2. Talk to my therapist about medication, I think it’s time I can’t do this alone and I need more help.
3. Get my license.

~I am safe and well and supported with Love. All is well in my life.~

Hippymom Weekly September 6, 2009

An old friend pops in on MamaBirdie.

Luscious Decadence speaks beautifully.

How about some Crazy freewriting?

September Online Workshop on HippyMom!

LoCoWomen.com loves the smarty pants!

Melia gets random. Shocking.

In the mind of crazy. September 6, 2009

Slowly sinking, ever fading, crashing deep beneath the ocean shore. Falling deep, feeling weak, can she come back from this? Can’t breathe, can’t sleep, dizzy, walls are closing in. Don’t want to give in, want to be safe. Tired of feeling alone. Who is this girl, who is so vulnerable? Will she ever grow, will she ever shed her cocoon? Release, grow, learn. Fight. Strength. Want to be free. Free from the her own shackles. Crying loudly inside her mind. Can anybody hear her? Lost, tumbling, stumbling, darkness. Can anybody find her? Can she find herself? Mind-numbing, heart racing, out of control. Never-ending madness.

“Have you ever confused a dream with life?” September 3, 2009

I have probably seen just about 5,000 movies in my lifetime. Movies are my life. From an early age I would watch movies to escape. I am sure you’ve heard that sort of phrase back in the 30’s during the Depression. The masses would flock to the movies to escape their lives into a fantasy world for two hours. Most of my life has been my own personal hell. Movies have saved my life. If I am having a bad day and I need a good laugh I will watch a comedy. If I am in need of a good cry a good chick flick or drama will do the trick. I mean, yes I’ve always had a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in my mouth. Then why I would I have depression you ask? At this point and time all I can say is that I have no fuckin’ clue. I mean it that way too. So instead of dealing with my issues or dealing with life. I will pop in a movie and escape my own personal hell. I should be grateful or happy or satisfied. Of course a small part of me, the logical part of me knows this. But that part where everything is doom and gloom completely and utterly takes over. From movies to dreams is where my real life is. Every once in awhile I will pinch myself, because I swear I am living in a nightmare. I mean I love my kids and I love Caleb. I just hate life. I want a do-over. This is where that “doom and gloom” part takes over. Unless I pop in a movie and then everything is okay for 2 hours. Which is exactly what I did this afternoon. I talked to a friend of mine this afternoon and was bawling all over again and instead of dealing with it I went ahead and popped in a very entertaining movie and forgot about things for 2 hours. Now that the movie is over I am starting feel overwhelmed again and on the verge of tears. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I move on from this. Why do I feel like this all over again. I mean really is it my weight. The one thing that is ALWAYS on my mind? Do you think that if I lost weight ALL this would go away. I mean sure it could, but would I be happy, satisfied, grateful for things then?
Do I want to give up. I mean I love my children, but wouldn’t they just be happier with a mother who’s happy. I mean if things were set in motion would it be easier now to just give up, so that its early enough that they’d forget about me?

hippymom weekly August 23, 2009

Melia finds beauty… beautiful.

HippyMom Discusses The Importance of Breathing.

LadyHawk’s not-so-secret message to a friend in need.

Victoria Klein spills her eco-beans all over The Q.

MamaBirdie listens (we just don’t know who she’s listening to).

GrayGaia’s crazy August!

Self-love, the CrazyCase way!

MamaDuck quacks back to school!

Ten things I love about me August 22, 2009

1. My school self- determined and focused
2. My impending freedom- Makes me feel all giddy inside
3. My look- I feel pretty oh so pretty
4. My eating habits- Even though I fall off the bandwagon I can get back on everyone makes mistakes.
5. My love of life- working on this one, with muchas therapy I will learn to love my life again.
6. My beautiful children- Yes ladies and gentleman I had a HUGE hand in that.
7. My love for reading- I love books, I love getting lost in them.
8. My friendships- Maybe rocky.. but I totally love my friends and I thank you for always being there for me.
9. My lips- I got some luscious lips, thank you very much!!
10. I love me- because nobody else is gonna treat me and love me as well as deserve or want. I need to love me, because if I don’t who else is gonna.

This all may seem confusing but this is my crazy life!

Brought to you today by the letter 7.