In my crazy life

a hippy chick and her words…

Chasing rainbows, Mamabirdie finds her treasure!

Casey is a Quitter!!

Mama Duck on aging.

Cyndi Lauper, Melia loves you.

It’s so nice to be able to say that and actually FEEL that way. Its been a long time since I felt kinda giddy about things happening. It’s a good thing. I quit smoking two weeks ago tomorrow. Thats a HUGE deal for me. I’ve tried to quit before and failed. It so amazing. I mean yes, I want one and I say that everyday lol but then I think why would I waste 13 days just to smoke again.

With quitting smoking, it feels like things are finally falling into place. That I am starting to get where I want to be. It’s absolutely wonderful. Patience really is the key to all this. Just because all this is happening slow doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen.

I just want to say thank you for everyone’s support. Especially my family who has really seen me at my worst the past couple weeks. Without everyone’s support I don’t think I would’ve even made it one day, let alone one day shy of two weeks!

No Doubt, Crazycase had a blast… mostly

LadyHawk has her head in the clouds

Fashion, evolved don’t know much, but they know they love shoes….

Gray Gaia loves her gray!

We are family to Mama Duck… and right back ‘atcha!

MamaBirdie, Coyotes and Chance

a hippy chick battles the blog monster!

RAWR! Melia’s Venus in Leo is strutting her stuff!

Mama Duck’s Dream Deserves an Oscar!

In My Crazy Life is seeking…herself?

Fashion, Evolved interviews Juliane Camposano of Roselwear.

Join us in a round of Electric Kool-Aid at Hippymom.com!

Melia Lore has a Vulva Skirt. No, I’m not kidding.

She’s not sad…she’s A Hippy Chick.

Gray Gaia invites you to Embrace the Goddess Soleil!

Looking at the Last Page First is FREE, BABY! FREE!

So yesterday started off with me sick as a dog. I was in god awful pain and so much so that I threw up twice (I know TMI). Around 1pm, I called Andrew (my brother) to give him a heads up that I may not be going after all. He was using my other ticket so I wanted to tell him early enough so that he could come up and get it. Caleb then proceeded to tell me that I was going NO matter what because we’re not wasting money. :para Well I started feeling a bit better by 2 so I took a shower and felt a bit more better. So I called him and said we’re still on. We left here at 5:45 and I told Andrew that C had to run back inside I forgot my ID. Then it took us about 25 minutes to get there. We ended up parking instead of C dropping me off. Well because Andrew wasn’t there yet. C needed to get out now before he was blocked in, so I called Andrew to see where he was. “I needed to turn around Erica forgot her ID” I was like :roll I just told him right before we both left about mine, you’d think… whatever.

So C leaves and I wait like 20 minutes for him and they get there and we proceed on. I was kinda worried about going to the Concert to begin with because of our last experience, I was 3 months PP and was not a good idea for me :lol So The Sounds opened up for Paramore and No Doubt. They are a swedish band. Not to shabby. Then Paramore. I only knew one song :crack You should have seen the teen following for Paramore :lmao Then No Doubt. It was NOTHING like my last experience. I stood up, clapped, danced, screamed and fawned all over then! Gwen was looking HOT, you should see her abs daaaaaaaaaaaaaang :max And she had what two babies? I had so much fun and yes I danced like no one was watching.

So I told C I would meet him out in our usual spot between 10:30-11pm. So Erica, Andrew and I all left, they wanted to get home anyways. Well we get to the pedestrian walkway and seen a guy who looked like he knew what he was doing. FTR NONE OF THEM DO! :crack So I walked up to our usual spot and didn’t see him. (He does not have a phone, I kept the phone because I was to scared of being left) At this point Erica and Andrew have made it to their parking lot and have just left. Well I walk down towards there and I see a huge light and I can see cars pulling in and out. At that moment I was frozen. I was not moving from that spot. At this point it’s almost 11pm and the concert has let out and there is 1700+ people milling to their cars. So at about 11:30 I start getting a little paranoid. So I ask one of the traffic directors. I need help.. which is a big thing for me I hate asking for help. Well he turned me away “There’s nothing I can do for you” hmm okay… bring on the freak out. So I went back to my spot and waited and waited and waited. Andrew kept texting of course making this all my fault so he doesn’t have to feel guilty :snort :roll Then my dad called and he’d stay on for 10 minutes every 10 minutes so 1. I wouldn’t freak totally out and 2. so my battery wouldn’t die it case I needed it. The cars kept milling by. I kept thinking how could I have gone from having the freakin’ awesome time to directly to Hell. Seriously I felt like I was being punished for having a great time irrational yes, but whatever :snicker So all the cars are gone, the directors of traffic move on and I couldn’t hold it back no more, I started crying my eyes out. At this point it’s almost one and so many things keep running through my mind. C has all the kids, they are probably freaking out or asleep lets hope for asleep, where the hell could he be if there’s no way he could get to our “usual spot” and how rockin’ Gwen’s abs were. No like she looked fine as hell. So at one am. I see him, pulling up through the fire lane and the tears free flowin’. I was never so happy to see all of them! Alex sleeping in her favorite pj’s, Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba. Izzy looking at me in her Angelica PJ’s, which so suit her, asking me “what’s wrong Mama” and Vinny giving me a smile through his binky, the smile the lights up his eyes. Then there was Caleb. He smiles at me and says “I made you a PB&J, you have to starvin, you haven’t eaten all day”. Sigh.. I love my little family.
Lessons learned:
1. If you are going to a concert with someone and your S/O doesn’t have a phone but the person you are going with does. LEAVE THE CELL PHONE WITH YOU S/O.

2. Do not let the person you came with leave without knowing that you’ve been taken care of. It’s not being selfish its being safe and keeping you from a breakdown.

I am sure there’s more but here’s what I know for sure:

All in all if you forget the before and after. You have all that is No Doubt and by God/Goddess they rocked the shit outta Da ‘Burgh!!! Owwww Owwww

Everything lately has been tugging at my heart. My heart is in such pain. I am in a dark place in my life right now. I don’t want to be here. I am going to try like hell to get out it. I don’t want to linger in this place. It’s absolutely awful. Feeling like everyone is out to hurt me. Feeling so alone. My heart feels like everyone has abandoned me. My head knows differently. My head knows that no one is out to hurt me. I want happiness and sometimes I just feel so lost. I can’t find my way back to that road. Had I ever really found that road? Regardless I do want to find it. I wish I could ask for directions or a map or maybe a starting point. But I know I need to do this alone. I want to be a strong and independent woman. I want to have the confidence to be able to do or try anything. I want to be able to say without a doubt “I would want to be friends with me or I am a great mom or I am beautiful woman!” I want to get to that point.

LadyHawk colors our world, naturally!

Makeover your soul with Fashion, Evolved

Braided Diva lets us ogle her goodies!

Cutie Josh Person is BunnyGlitter’s Important Person of the Week!

MamaBirdie flies!

Crazycase honors her feelings…

The National Women’s History Museum needs your help!

MamaDuck goes shopping in her own closet!

Its the quasi-weekly blog theme – “F” Words!

In her HM Blog Debut, the big monster learns forgiveness

a hippy chick gets frivolous. Shocking.

Frankly, Melia, we’re not surprised you wrote about feminism.

MamaDuck brags about her friend’s freezer

Only a few days late LOL

Veggin’ out with Gray Gaia

The Inside Life, deserted?

Mama Duck gets Stamped!

You are your own worst enemy, crazycase! Snap out of it!

a hippy chick holds on for one more day…

Did Melia get married? Did she fall off a mountain? Why does she eat eggs? Total cuteness on HippyMom!

Bunny Glitter goes Tori!

Luscious Decadence makes us warm, tingly and special.

Sarah Plain and Tall’s Dredful Journey!

When will these feelings fade? Sometimes I wish I could just wipe her from my memory. It hurts to much. I hate remembering.

Of course, she was my first love. Something not easily forgotten. I think about her everyday. Something always, always triggers it. I thought I had let go of all of this. Let go of her.

What is wrong with me? I have a family now. I can’t be doing this. I can’t keep dwelling on this.

It’s been a tough couple days, it’s like once she’s there, once the thoughts are there they won’t go away.